I remembered who I was this evening.
At church today was an overlying theme of service - not just to strangers and other church members, but to friends, family and spouse in particular. I was buoyed on this thought as I went to class this evening: there a classmate reminisced on a person he had served in the past. Looking at a picture of her, he was asked the question, "Is that person a stranger to you?"
It's amazing the emotion that can be conveyed in a single word - "No." That's all he said. With a slight crack that nearly brought me to tears as I felt the power of emotion he held for this singular sister in the Church, he conveyed his feelings of charity with a simple but definite, "No." For a woman whom he hasn't seen in over a year and only new for a few months, my friend and classmate was silent as he was nearly overcome by the memory of being the conduit by which that woman felt the individual love of God for her.
I want to feel that love.
I want to be that conduit through which charity - the divine love of God - is shown, bestowed upon, and felt by others. It is with this purpose that I create this journal: as I write, I will study the scriptures and jot down my feelings and premonitions so that I may better remember them, and perhaps share them with some other individual to whom they would be of benefit. Invariably, I'll put amusing things around here as well: I'm an avid StumbleUpon addict and regularly find things on the internet that interest me, but the main purpose of this blog is to chart my journey from the complacent church-goer I currently am to a missionary - strong in the spirit, desiring to share that same spirit with whomever would hear its message of joy from me.
Right now I only have a desire to feel the love that teaching with the Spirit brings. But as Alma says, if ye have but a desire for faith, it is enough to grow with; such is my conviction that I hope to grow in my desires and feel that same love with which my brethren and sisters in the Gospel live each day.
This is who I am. This is who I'm meant to be. I am a Son of the Almighty God of Heaven and Earth, a loved Brother of the Anointed Messiah, Jesus Christ, and through His atoning sacrifice in the garden and on the cross, I am born anew - I am given a new purpose in life - to live His Gospel and be an example of His teachings, that I may one day stand next to Him, unashamed to be loved by Him. That's me, and you - to whomever may read this.
I think I'll conclude for the time being as I want to read. My primary goal is to read the first book of Nephi tonight. Perhaps later I will post my thoughts. Ultimately, my goal is to be called on a mission by Christmas of this year, but for now I must set to work reading the teachings of the prophets and pondering them through prayer and study.
- Jake
